Updates:
A lot has happened since I last wrote on Blogger. I feel a great need to return because, well, I am a completely different person now. A lot of the shit I previously posted shows up to me as pretentious gospel vomit, and I wish I could rewrite it, but I won’t. It is important to document our path so as to know what our trajectory is.
I made one small correction to the previous post. The events of the Book of Mormon have not officially been located. There is some speculation that some of the events occurred in North America, not just Mezzo-America or South America, so I made it more general because I am not sure what the official canon is because I am no longer Mormon.
Yep.
Here’s a link to my Wordpress
Maybe I’ll post to both outlets, I dunno.
I remember writing this post in college. Because there is too much to write, and I may not have time to “back-document” in sufficient detail, I will create a list of bullet points that can be quickly digested to form a sort of sequence of events to paraphrase my life up until today, August 29th, 2022.
2015: MSE student at the U of U. Mormon. Single. Made myself an idiot several times arguing with college kids about marijuana and gays. Worked as a valet? I need to go back and check.
2016: Spring mobile, Pipe Fab, Workman Nydegger (order?). More useless dating. Met Bear. started taking a world religions class. Loved Buddhism.
2017: Retaking several classes after failing them. Dated a gal named Angela for a while. She dumped me.
2018: Finding myself a maiden-less wretch, dropped out of engineering school after failing to manage my time between Minecraft and porn and work. Lost driving privileges because I was a dumb cunt and was always late for work, got caught speeding too many times in a year and couldn’t afford insurance, even though I had done the remedial classes to get the points off my record. Still am sorta dumb in that regard.
I got depressed, went to Mastery in Transformation Training because a girl I liked was doing it (mad simp energy, I know). First time kinda want manic and loved it, second time pulled out of my mania and decided it was a scam. Suddenly felt like Mormonism was a similar scam and started allowing myself to question and investigate the claims against the church more seriously. Lost both my jobs (WN and Lowes), one was a mutually convenient departure, the other was a departure by my volition.
I “ran away” from home after an argument with my mom. I was a drama king and left in the middle of the night with only a note. Grown-ass adult still acting like a child. I wound up in Portland of all places and was on the streets for a day, but not for long. Hemorrhaging money as little as possible, but still more than I had to, I camped out at a park. I was looking for a spot in a National Park to hide and begin a new solitary life. I instead got lost one night and a kind rural pair of souls took me in. I helped them with various chores and then I was contacted by my mom. We reconciled our differences and then she asked if I wanted to come on vacation with them. I knew it was a trap but I accepted, because I sincerely wanted to see where it went.
Back in Utah, I was miserable and depressed. I helped my mom with some scouting stuff, and then afterwards I received a Reiki session from a lady named Melanie. That changed my life. That woman possessed the power of God and I felt healed, spiritually. This, I felt, could not be reconciled with the Mormon teachings on Priesthood—only men could be authorized to heal by the power of God, not women. I went to a large, regional, LDS single adult camp and felt a little better about my life. They had a speaker come out to answer young adult questions. I asked them about my experience and asked if God would reveal more of His truth, and why hadn’t he revealed all of it in the first place. I can’t remember the response to this day, because it didn’t answer my questions. The root of my doubts had sprouted, and I had evidence, albeit anecdotal, that the church not only didn’t have some critical answers, they were downright wrong and dishonest.
I still struggled with my feelings, however. While I had declared myself no longer a member, I still retained my membership, just in case I was wrong. However; I decided to explore the possibility that humans might possess secret abilities that had been suppressed by the powers that be…
And so, I went straight to what I had been told all of my life had been wrong—
Magic.
For several years, I considered myself a solitary pagan. I had no pantheon, however. I was open to the first deity I felt I could trust. I literally hugged trees and communed with the elements. I felt like I couldn’t be vegan due to my food allergies and my psoriatic arthritis, but I really tried…sorta. I was dirty vegetarian; Avoiding meat where I could, but indulging occasionally.
Anyway.
Met Sandi online spring 2018. We both went our separate ways until the fall. I was unemployed, had no car, and was a hippie. She had just signed the lease on her first apartment and was making more money per month than I ever had in my life.
We dated. I slept over one night and my mom told me I needed to find somewhere else to live. I had violated the Mormon law of chastity and could not “set a bad example” for my step brother.
He still went on a mission, mind you.
So I moved out. I only stayed there for ten days out of the November because Sandi and I slept together a lot. I ended up moving in because things were just…amazing. She was the complete antithesis of a bitch. She purged any Incel ideas that might have been floating around in the back of my mind. I joke sometimes and say that I would have been an Incel Neckbeard if God or fate or The Universe hadn’t intervened.
I started working at Sleep Number with my Step dad.
2019: After almost breaking up (because of my cold feet), we got married in May. I got a job at Purple that winter. I thought it was a dream job at the time, doing CAD work.
2020: We move to Tooele to get closer to my work, also with the earthquakes, power outages, and pandemic, my brain is screaming “GET ME OFF THE GRID”. Start seriously shopping for property. Sandi got pregnant later that year, which made me nest harder.
2021: Tobi is born. After some pretty determined house-hunting, we find a house in Ogden. Meth residue was found in the basement, and we pulled out of the contract during our due diligence period. We start looking in rural Utah and driving our agent nuts. We finally settle on a house in Neola. We move in and have a lot of work to do.
2022: I got laid off in February. I am unemployed for several months. I buy chickens and begin doing what I can to renovate our fixer-upper. I start going to school to try and get a job around here. Before I finished my program, I got hired at Delsco Northwest and started working in oil field doing flow testing.
I am currently sitting at work, writing this during my downtime. There’s s lot of downtime in this industry. I have recently received confirmation that my membership of the church has finally been rescinded. Therefore, I felt it necessary to provide this update.
By the end of this post I have decided I am abandoning this blog for my Wordpress. If anyone finds this, please follow the link toward the beginning of this post.
Thanks,
Anthony, Philopacis
