Life Update: 2022

 Updates:

A lot has happened since I last wrote on Blogger. I feel a great need to return because, well, I am a completely different person now. A lot of the shit I previously posted shows up to me as pretentious gospel vomit, and I wish I could rewrite it, but I won’t. It is important to document our path so as to know what our trajectory is.

I made one small correction to the previous post. The events of the Book of Mormon have not officially been located. There is some speculation that some of the events occurred in North America, not just Mezzo-America or South America, so I made it more general because I am not sure what the official canon is because I am no longer Mormon.

Yep.

Here’s a link to my Wordpress

http://ithink.music.blog/

Maybe I’ll post to both outlets, I dunno. 

I remember writing this post in college. Because there is too much to write, and I may not have time to “back-document” in sufficient detail, I will create a list of bullet points that can be quickly digested to form a sort of sequence of events to paraphrase my life up until today, August 29th, 2022.

2015: MSE student at the U of U. Mormon. Single. Made myself an idiot several times arguing with college kids about marijuana and gays. Worked as a valet? I need to go back and check.

2016: Spring mobile, Pipe Fab, Workman Nydegger (order?). More useless dating. Met Bear. started taking a world religions class. Loved Buddhism.

2017: Retaking several classes after failing them. Dated a gal named Angela for a while. She dumped me.

2018: Finding myself a maiden-less wretch, dropped out of engineering school after failing to manage my time between Minecraft and porn and work. Lost driving privileges because I was a dumb cunt and was always late for work, got caught speeding too many times in a year and couldn’t afford insurance, even though I had done the remedial classes to get the points off my record. Still am sorta dumb in that regard.

I got depressed, went to Mastery in Transformation Training because a girl I liked was doing it (mad simp energy, I know). First time kinda want manic and loved it, second time pulled out of my mania and decided it was a scam. Suddenly felt like Mormonism was a similar scam and started allowing myself to question and investigate the claims against the church more seriously. Lost both my jobs (WN and Lowes), one was a mutually convenient departure, the other was a departure by my volition.

I “ran away” from home after an argument with my mom. I was a drama king and left in the middle of the night with only a note. Grown-ass adult still acting like a child. I wound up in Portland of all places and was on the streets for a day, but not for long. Hemorrhaging money as little as possible, but still more than I had to, I camped out at a park. I was looking for a spot in a National Park to hide and begin a new solitary life. I instead got lost one night and a kind rural pair of souls took me in. I helped them with various chores and then I was contacted by my mom. We reconciled our differences and then she asked if I wanted to come on vacation with them. I knew it was a trap but I accepted, because I sincerely wanted to see where it went.

Back in Utah, I was miserable and depressed. I helped my mom with some scouting stuff, and then afterwards I received a Reiki session from a lady named Melanie. That changed my life. That woman possessed the power of God and I felt healed, spiritually. This, I felt, could not be reconciled with the Mormon teachings on Priesthood—only men could be authorized to heal by the power of God, not women. I went to a large, regional, LDS single adult camp and felt a little better about my life. They had a speaker come out to answer young adult questions. I asked them about my experience and asked if God would reveal more of His truth, and why hadn’t he revealed all of it in the first place. I can’t remember the response to this day, because it didn’t answer my questions. The root of my doubts had sprouted, and I had evidence, albeit anecdotal, that the church not only didn’t have some critical answers, they were downright wrong and dishonest.

I still struggled with my feelings, however. While I had declared myself no longer a member, I still retained my membership, just in case I was wrong. However; I decided to explore the possibility that humans might possess secret abilities that had been suppressed by the powers that be…

And so, I went straight to what I had been told all of my life had been wrong—

Magic.

For several years, I considered myself a solitary pagan. I had no pantheon, however. I was open to the first deity I felt I could trust. I literally hugged trees and communed with the elements. I felt like I couldn’t be vegan due to my food allergies and my psoriatic arthritis, but I really tried…sorta. I was dirty vegetarian; Avoiding meat where I could, but indulging occasionally.

Anyway.

Met Sandi online spring 2018. We both went our separate ways until the fall. I was unemployed, had no car, and was a hippie. She had just signed the lease on her first apartment and was making more money per month than I ever had in my life.

We dated. I slept over one night and my mom told me I needed to find somewhere else to live. I had violated the Mormon law of chastity and could not “set a bad example” for my step brother.

He still went on a mission, mind you.

So I moved out. I only stayed there for ten days out of the November because Sandi and I slept together a lot. I ended up moving in because things were just…amazing. She was the complete antithesis of a bitch. She purged any Incel ideas that might have been floating around in the back of my mind. I joke sometimes and say that I would have been an Incel Neckbeard if God or fate or The Universe hadn’t intervened.

I started working at Sleep Number with my Step dad.

2019: After almost breaking up (because of my cold feet), we got married in May. I got a job at Purple that  winter. I thought it was a dream job at the time, doing CAD work.

2020: We move to Tooele to get closer to my work, also with the earthquakes, power outages, and pandemic, my brain is screaming “GET ME OFF THE GRID”. Start seriously shopping for property. Sandi got pregnant later that year, which made me nest harder.

2021: Tobi is born. After some pretty determined house-hunting, we find a house in Ogden. Meth residue was found in the basement, and we pulled out of the contract during our due diligence period. We start looking in rural Utah and driving our agent nuts. We finally settle on a house in Neola. We move in and have a lot of work to do.

2022: I got laid off in February. I am unemployed for several months. I buy chickens and begin doing what I can to renovate our fixer-upper. I start going to school to try and get a job around here. Before I finished my program, I got hired at Delsco Northwest and started working in oil field doing flow testing.

I am currently sitting at work, writing this during my downtime. There’s s lot of downtime in this industry. I have recently received confirmation that my membership of the church has finally been rescinded. Therefore, I felt it necessary to provide this update.

By the end of this post I have decided I am abandoning this blog for my Wordpress. If anyone finds this, please follow the link toward the beginning of this post.

Thanks,

Anthony, Philopacis

First Try

Hello Fellow bloggers, philosophers, and the like,

I wish to make a mental expedition into the realm of political science/philosophy. I am an student at the University of Utah studying Materials Science and Engineering. Some may guffaw at the seemingly polar opposition of my interests; the average pre-engineering student would be more content to sit at a desk and solder wires together and program a machine that calculates the outcome of the next election rather than ponder the ethos an pathos of each nominee's political agendas, but I happen to rather enjoy both. This blog is an attempt to analyse human thought and create a sort of forum for the ideas of those seeking a higher understanding of what is right/wrong, how we should be organized as a society, and what should we do about the current state of our society. In essence, I wish to re-create the freedom of thought encouraged by Socrates when he shared his ideas with the people on the street in his time and place through questions and postulation.

I must also mention my background and beliefs, for these will inevitably bias my opinions; however, I will try to keep this bias to a minimum to encourage a feeling of free speech and thought. We all have the right to express how we feel or think, even if it is proven right or wrong. That is why my title is "Philopacis", or "lover of peace". I feel that all contention can be resolved by rational thought, education, and true meditation upon the nature of truth.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or in more common terms, a "Mormon" or a "Latter-Day Saint" (e.g. LDS). What the extended title implies is the belief that the original organization of the church founded by Christ went through a series of establishments, or dispensations, since the beginning of time, and that this, the LDS Church, is the last dispensation to occur until the global return of Christ, commonly referred to as the "Second Coming", "Armageddon", or "End of Days" by the LDS and several other Christian denominations.

The term "Mormon" stems from the relatively new canon believed by the LDS to have been divinely revealed to the first Prophet, or President, of the Church, namely Joseph Smith, Jr., the title being "The Book of Mormon". This book was presented to Joseph Smith by an angel named Moroni, who gave instruction and guidance to Joseph until he was deemed old and wise enough to be directed to the place where the book was hidden, uncover and take possession of it, and translate it by the power of God. (for a more exhaustive history, please consult Mormon.org). The name Mormon simply refers to an ancient prophet/historian Mormon, who made a very comprehensive record of his people, what current Book of Mormon scholars believe to be the peoples of the ancient Americas. It is another record of the dealings of God with the inhabitants of the Earth, similar to the Bible, yet taking place on the other side of the globe. We believe that there may yet be more records to discover across the globe, all of which testify of the coming of a Messianic Deity commonly known as Jesus Christ.

Our belief system can be very simply defined by the "Articles of Faith" and "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", two of the most explicit texts of Mormon doctrine and belief structure:
(Notes by me are italicized)

The Proclamation is extensive, so a link is posted here:
https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&cid=PA0414-02

The Articles of Faith

of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

 1 We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son,   Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

We believe in a Trinity of three individual deities who are so unified in thought and purpose that they often occur in the sacred texts as representing one another, however each has their own discrete being.

 2 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.

This declares us free from the necessity of child baptism, for the sin of the parents cannot be held over the head of the innocent posterity. However, this increases our need for personal accountability because we cannot blame our ancestor for our own decisions.

 3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

As most common Christian denominations believe, we believe that Jesus Christ, being the Son of God, gave himself as a sacrifice to pay for the sins of the past, present, and future generations of the inhabitants of existence. We believe this Atonement to be necessary because the summation of the spiritual debts we accrue when we sin is so much greater than our capacity to justify and pay for by ourselves. An intermediary payment is requisite, but not just any sacrifice. The sacrifice Abraham was to perform with Isaac was a foretaste of the expiatory sacrifice God would perform later with His own Son. This Sacrifice was also intended to fulfill the Law of Moses, so that no more shedding of blood would be necessary to pay the debt of sin, but a sacrifice of pride and personal will; a surrender to the will of God.

 4 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second,Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

This outlines the pathway of entry into the faith:
First, coming to believe in Christ and His Mission,
Second, changing the habits and activities in one's life to emulate the attributes of Christ, such as having faith, hope, and charity, being a peacemaker, striving to abstain from impulses to indulge the self, etc.
Third, making a physical statement of faith (or covenant ordinance) by immersing one's self completely into water and reemerging accompanied by a ritual prayer--baptism. This is symbolic of the death and resurrection of Christ, and also of being spiritually reborn as one of the covenant-making people of God,
Fourth, to complete the process of spiritual rebirth, a spiritual cleansing is performed by receiving through authorized individuals the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, one of the members of the Godhead. This enables the bearer of this gift to discern between good and evil, continually repent of sin, and avoid further sinning. This gift, however, is only present in the individuals who 

 5 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

We believe in that leadership of God's Church on the Earth is only possible by divine appointment. No man can simply form his own church with the sole purpose of promoting a doctrinal ideal and/or raising followers. Moses organized the Hebrew children by being called by God personally. Abraham also was visited by God and established His faith. Joseph Smith was visited in a similar manner. Others who claim such visitations must have their claim validated by divine means, such as the translation of a script in an impossibly short period of time, or the evidence of doctrinal consistency with the original texts the God commanded to be written. And to be candid, one must simply have a conversation with God in the form of prayer in order to deduce which of all of the faiths claiming originality are legitimate manifestations of dispensations.

 6 We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors,teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

This is an extension of the previous clause.

 7 We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation,visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

We believe that the impossible is possible, and that miracles still occur in our day and age. They never have ceased to occur, and never will.

 8 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

This is explained earlier in this post.

 9 We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

Revelation is also a key component in God's church. When God commanded Moses to cross the Red Sea to flee the Egyptian armies, some followers my have feared an obvious tactical blunder to be cornered by a large body of water. The plan was revealed to Moses, Moses parted the waters miraculously (with the divine aid of God), and the Hebrews escaped. Revelation is the only way for the Lord's business to be conducted on the Earth, for with the short foresight that we have as human beings, we would have made several huge mistakes that would lead to our ultimate extinction.

 10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisaical glory.

This has been not only manifest by the returning of the Jews to Israel, but also by the massive missionary effort made by the LDS Church; the gathering is a spiritual gathering, not necessarily physical.

 11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

This agrees with the 1st Amendment of the U.S Constitution; freedom of religion.

 12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

We believe in being politically active and behaving as good, law-abiding citizens.

 13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.I wish to tackle the most controversial, important, and pressing matters first. They may not be in order of importance, but what first come to mind.

This is in essence, the spark that has lead to me creating this blog, an attempt to comprehend what is good and to pursue it.

Today's subject I wish to "tackle" is that of homosexual marriage. I have previously written an essay that quite frankly lambasted the legalization of same-sex marriage, but I feel that my approach was more of a caveman brandishing his club and swatting at the air at imaginary flies. I wish to rather repent of my foolish banging about and finger-pointing and have an open discussion concerning the "why"s and "why not"s of legalizing couples of the same sex to form traditional-like structures of families. Please place your comments below and state your feelings on this subjects, pros/cons, etc.

-Philopacis